Immediately following more than two years out of dipping inside and outside regarding OKCupid, it’s got slowly dawned into the me personally that every (not all the, you nitpickers) female, 29-38, who have profiles thereon webpages fall into four greater classes (no the):

No, the new “Peoplely-Man,” with regards to the advertising wizards, is a keen unshaven, overgrown fratboy prone to bellowing incoherently and you will higher-fiving their Token Black Buddy over exactly how shiny their truck is or how well the guy thinks his pisswater light beer choice

#step 1. New Whirlwind “Get your own passport, let us traveling!! Where? Any-fucking-in which! No matter, just like the I am sorts of a blank cover, and you will lingering action is preferable to resting however and listening to the newest booming emptiness which is my personal character!” Skiing regarding winter, wakeboarding during summer, the new Whirlwind doesn’t have determination to own silky, sedentary meditation, it’s wade-wade-go. She will cost to your an early on grave if you attempt to keep up with their particular, that’s great ’cause their premature demise gives their own additional time to have rock-hiking and you can travel to help you Ireland.

#2. The fresh Girly-Girl She suits every stereotypes. These represent the girls your “oppressed men” within the beer advertisements will always trying to escape from, along with justification. Specifically noteable because of their definitely appalling liking in most types of well-known people, the Dvd shelves is actually groaning having titles such Dirty Dancing and you will The notebook, in addition to their mp3 playlists was chock-full out-of Jack Johnson, Keith Urban, and you can Colbie Caillat. They can be wise, however they never screen an iota off mental fascination. (Warning: She’s going to in the course of time turn out to be The brand new Castrating Shrew, but that is a separate selection of https://brightwomen.net/tr/luksemburglu-kadinlar/ categories.)

So zero fits for me personally

[Top Note: I was thinking the brand new “Girly-Girl” are a good Madison Method cliche, an animal existing entirely since the a keen antagonist in the a lot more than-mentioned commercials, but these include obviously nowadays. Perhaps its reverse number ‘s the “Manly-Man,” however it is not any longer the tough, square-jawed Marlboro Man method of. ]

#3. The newest Pretentious Grad College student She may have graduated in the past, but don’t leftover the fresh attitude at the rear of. Most, most smart – far more therefore than simply you, indeed, you scruffy bang – however, have not laughed aloud inside a beneficial dog’s age. (An especially pithy Jon Stewart quip otherwise trenchant The newest Yorker cartoon will get mark a beneficial wry smirk.) Reading number includes significant volumes into the socio-governmental issues, otherwise Gabriel Garcia Marquez novels. She listens so you can jazz, otherwise Brazilian individuals, or simply any pops up with the NPR’s Oxygen that date (who’s got returning to songs whenever there clearly was causes?) She likes Thai food, or is vegan, otherwise Jesus help us, veggie. She tend to features a little bit of the brand new Whirlwind within her, seeing an intermittent stay away from towards “real” people out-of European countries, otherwise some oppressed Latin american banana republic. Their unique Fb profile image for the next 18 months will be their unique facing particular Mayan ruins into the oversized boots and you may good hemp rucksack. In short, she actually is completely insufferable.

#cuatro. Brand new “I’m-Just-A-Country-Girl” Whole lotta these hiding up to. She has Tim McGraw and you will/otherwise modern Religious Cds (have not ordered a mp3 player yet). Features hiking. Probably voted to have Plant, twice, when it taken place so you’re able to their unique so you can choose anyway. Stupid just like the a fucking fencepost.

We frequently slip amongst the cracks (again, no steer clear of the) of those groups. The 21-twenty-eight year olds features her set of categories, which are embryonic sizes of all more than (truly the only change is the 31-38 season olds keeps very good efforts), adding Class Girl, Faux-Hippie Girl, and Commonly-I-Nerdy/Quirky?-Girl.